Back to Square One v.2.0

The Jays are back to .500-ball with a win over the Texas Rangers on Friday. Roy Halladay threw 6 innings to get the win as the Jays took the first game of the three-game series 6-4. After todays loss, the Rangers are now worse than the Royals... I never thought I'd say that.

In his 6 innings, the Doc struck-out 9, one less than his season-high. On paper, his outing wasn't great, but in reality it was spectacular. He worked his way out of jams and such.

In other new, Ray Olmedo, an infield prospect took the roster spot for Royce Clayton on Friday, he's apparently good at defence but his bat keeps him out of the big-leagues... kinda like Clayton. He's expected to start this weekend.

You Are The Weakest Link; Goodbye!

FINALLY! Retardo finally decided to designate Royce Clayton for assignment after letting him play for 69 games of "why"'s and "what the fuck!"'s. I'm sure I'm not the first to say, "'bout bloody time!"

Maybe it was his terrible defence against the Devil Rays on Wednesday that made J.P. realize that the "veteran defensive star" that he picked up in the offseason was too old and too terrible to play shortstop.

Johnny Mac The Wizard is now the starting shortstop after he dazzled the Jays with his bat this year, hitting .273 compared to .223 last year. Clayton was hitting .254 with horrible defence, what he was picked up for.

FU JT

A.J. Burnett seems to be on his way to his return, throwing 61 pitches in a four-inning simulated game in Tropicana Field before the game on Wednesday. A pre-scheduled Minor League rehab assignment was cancelled due to rain. Pitching coach Brad Arnsberg had this to say about the pitcher's performance:

"It was unbelievable, really, his stuff was outstanding. His sinker to both sides of the plate looked really, really good. His four-seamer had power to it and late life, and his curveball was the curveball that everybody knows."

Gibbs said that Burnett should have start one Minor League game before returning to the rotation, but it is possible that Burnett would go straight to the Major League club-- the only problem is who's he going to replace?

Today Josh Towers threw 5.1 innings of crap-ball to take the loss against the D-Rays to raise his ERA to 5.17, the worst ERA of all the pitchers on the active roster. Naturally, when a player is returning to the pitching staff, the worst pitcher is demoted. The worst player in this case is JT, by far.

There are two options for JT at this point, he could go to the minors and be a backup starter for when somebody lands on the DL or he could move to the bullpen and be used for long relief. In the bullpen this year he has been horrible, allowing at least one run in almost every relief appearance-- unacceptable. Sending him to the Minor Leagues, however, would basically mean he's being paid millions of dollars for nothing... "Ya shoulda traded 'im J.P..." "Yeah... yeah, I probably should've..."

J.P. Retarded

I think we all know what I'm thinking... I'm thinking, "damn J.P., is you stupid?!" Seriously, why the fuck didn't J.P. (pictured) trade for something? I think/hope he's waiting for the offseason to fix this team and make us a serious contender. I'm not one to complain about the team, as I'm a huge Jays fan, but doesn't he want to win?!

There are so many things wrong with our team that are slowing us down and killing our chances of making the playoffs this year;

1. We have almost no clinch hitters-- Aaron Hill is our clinch hitter... are you kidding me? He hits about .333 with runners in scoring position, which is great, but we need somebody with an amazing average with RISP that can come off the bench. The perfect player in this situation-- Mark Sweeney. He's one of the best pinch-hitters in major-league history, and a free agent next season. Really the only problem with picking him up is that Matt Stairs will be used much less.
2. Vernon Wells is having the crappiest season of his career in that there are rookies making him look like a minor-leaguer. Not only is he not producing offensively, but his defence is down as well-- he's missed so many balls that last year he would have caught. Case in point: he hasn't make a diving catch all season, but he's made his fair share of diving misses...
3. Injuries obviously play the largest role in why the Jays are suffering, but even without them we're not the team we were expected to be coming out of spring training. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I seem to remember that we had an incredible offense and a steady rotation-- not the other way around.

J.P.'s a respectable guy, but he seems to make a hell of a lot of stupid mistakes, like not picking up a shortstop at the trade deadline, as both Clayton and The Wizard John McDonald are free agents after this season.

I don't think I really have to remind anybody, also, that we're overstocked with reliable pitching, and the only solution to that, as said by both me and J.P., is to trade some away. BUT! J.P. didn't trade anybody away, so we're left even more fucked than we were before.

Next time, J.P., could you scootch a couple players to the NL for some prospects? That'd be great...

Man of the Hour = Robin

God-damnit Jesse Litsch you are impressive. Not only did you manage to shut out the Devil Rays, but you gave the bat boy some tips from first-hand experience. Helpful little fuck aren't ya? This calls for a nickname: Robin. It's perfect!

Not only was he a bat boy-- which is punny and illogical, but he looks like a twelve-year old... What a co-incidence! Just like Robin! Yep, just like Robin.

In 6.2 innings, Jesse pitched shutout ball to solidify his spot in the rotation... in theory. The team has to send one starter down to AAA to make room for A.J. Burnett once he returns [FYI, he starts his minor league rehab assignment tonight for Class-A Dunedin] and J.P. stated that it would probably be Jesse Litsch, seeing how he was inconsistent and unexperienced. But since his return to the big leagues, Litsch has been very consistent. In five starts, he's only had one bad outing, where Mariners' 1B Richie Sexson lined a shot at Litsch's right ankle which seemed to have affected his performance. Josh Towers, on the other hand is much more inconsistent; check out these stats:

Since July 3rd when he was recalled from the minors, Litsch has had five starts, sporting a 3-2 record with a crazy 1.73 ERA. In his three wins, his ERA is 0.89. In his two losses, his ERA is 3.17; still very good, and overall very consistent.

In his last five starts, Josh Towers has a 2-2 record with a 4.11 ERA. In his two wins, his ERA is 3.09. In his two losses, his ERA is a bloated 8.18. Who's more inconsistent Mr. Ricciardi??

Say It Ain't So!!

God-dammit Jeremy Accardo (pictured) you ruin everything! I HATECHU! I just can't wait 'til B.J. Ryan is back and he can close out games for us without us worrying every single time that Accardo's going to fuck it up.

Don't get me wrong, I like Carl Crawford, he's a great baseball player who's on the verge of superstardom, but he's hitting so well against the Jays this year-- .341 with 3 HR and 10 RBI!

Say it ain't so, Carl!

When Crawford hit that homerun, it looked like a simple flyball to centre, and I was all like "cool" but then V-Dub started running back, and then I'm all like "yo!", and once I saw V-Dub look up, I was all like "NoOoOoOoOo!!" in that precise order. We should've won that game; just like every other game.

Brian Wolfe, you've been throwing great out of the 'pen this year. But Crawford's got an injured wrist! Now how do you give up a homerun to a man with the wrist of a prepubescent girl? It just doesn't add up Wolfey.

The Good

McGowan pitched well today, only allowing two runs in six innings.

John McDonald made so many great plays, oh lordy lordy lord... he deserves a Gold-Glove easily. Aaron Hill made a couple great plays as well... all-in-all it was a great game for the middle infielders.

Five Tampa Bay relievers were used, so only three relievers are left before they have to use some on back-to-back days and tomorrow we get to face Edwin Jackson sporting a nifty 2-10 record along with a 7.00 ERA-- undoubtedly the worst starter in the big leagues this season.

The Bad

WE LOST, DON'T YOU PAY ATTENTION?! Man, we almost had it... and we needed the sweep. Hopefully we can get the next two games under our belts, depending on whether or not Josh Towers doesn't screw up.

The Ugly

Jeremy Accardo blew another save, it seems he's blowing a lot lately... saves-wise of course...

Brian Wolfe, who has been so reliable, lost it to a wristless batter... holy crap.

Frank Thomas popped out three times! What the hell is that?

Vernon Wells, if you don't mind... can you please hit a ball further than shallow outfield with a runner at third? Thanks, appreciate it.

Changing His Mind...

Gibbs decided not to send Gustavo Chacin down to AAA-Syracuse afterall, instead putting him back on the 15-Day DL... this means absolutely nothing except that while Chacin is rehabbing in the minors, he'll still be getting paid his Major-League salary... wahoo.

Look Who's Baaaacccckkkk!!

It looks like he's back people! The Shaun Marcum we all loved to love seems to be back to his un-hittable self-- the ace of the future: Marcum! There's so much hype going around about Dustin McGowan and how good he's been, but what about Marcum? Ever since joining the rotation, his numbers are generally better than Halladays, except the complete game category of course, where Halladay leads the majors. [The Jays also lead the majors with 7: four by Halladay, two by Burnett and one by McGowan.]

In his outing versus the White Sox, he pitched 8 innings allowing only two hits-- unfortunately one of those hits was a homerun to Jermaine Dye, breaking up the shutout. This was his first quality start since July 1st, where he pitched 6.2 innings of shutout ball against the Mariners. In his next outing, Marcum finally proved to be human when he let up 8 runs in 3.1 innings-- raising his ERA from 2.86 to 3.62... he still had the best ERA on the team. In fifteen starts this season, Marcum has pitched eleven quality outings.