Mr. Roger$ Neighbourhood

It seems to me, that either J.P. Ricciardi doesn't know an awful lot about the game, or he's just straight up retarded because his philosophies continue to be lacking a crazy little thing called logic. Now last offseason, when J.P. "Retardi" Ricciardi signed Frank Thomas, he was assured that Thomas would produce SO many runs, that we wouldn't have the need for a shortstop that can hit like a major leaguer, so he signed Royce Clayton. Now I don't know if Retardi's shooting for first place or third because if I remember correctly, both the Yankees and the Sox have good offense for every position...

Praise be to John McDonald who stepped in and started producing offensively by surprise to save the village idiot's ass once again, but it isn't good enough.

Here in Mr. Rogers' Neighbourhood we want to save money, and take our chances apparently, signing the recent failures Tomo Ohka, Victor Zambrano and John Thomson. While Thomson was injured, Ohka and Zambrano were just plain awful.

Praise be to the young'ns that stepped in and saved Retardi's ass for the second time this season. Shaun Marcum has been ridiculously amazing so far this season... Dustin McGowan has been inconsistent, but overall still good, and Jesse Litsch has been very inconsistent but overall still very good.

Now why am I talking about all this? Well... it's because the young'ns can save us for the offseason. With the emergences of Marcum, McGowan, Litsch, and sometimes Towers, we have less of a concern for starting pitching in the offseason. Searching for relievers would be downright stupid, the way Downs, Janssen, Accardo and Tallet have been pitching this season in the absense of League and Ryan. So, now we can blow a shit load of cash on some star players to really liven up our roster and contend next season.

So what are the spots that need sharpening up? Well, lets start with the catcher, because our beloved Gregg Zaun can't throw out an old lady crossing the street. The best catcher on the free agent market is Jorge Posada, ya can't go wrong with an all-star catcher that's great offensively and defensively. The second best choice would be Michael Barrett, who isn't great offensively but he's average for a catcher, and he has a cannon for an arm, as Carlos Zambrano would know all about...

The only other spot that needs help is at short, where John McDonald has been steady, but not good enough for contention. This is one of those spots that you need more defense than offense, but if you can get a steady glove and a bat with pop, you can have a slick little player. "Hey, ya know who's kick-ass? That Juan Uribe fella." "Hey, you're right he is kick-ass, you're a genius!"

Honestly the Jays will be a team not to be reckoned with next season if we pick up these guys. We have young talent and veteran leadership, power and speed, and a hell of a lot more. What we need to do is use all of it, rather than just listen to the fucker on the bench with his hands in his pants and tobacco in his mouth with that dumb look on his face.

Look at this:

Lineup:

Reed Johnson - LF
Lyle Overbay - 1B
Vernon Wells - CF
Frank Thomas - DH
Alex Rios - RF
Troy Glaus - 3B
Jorge Posada - C
Juan Uribe - SS
Aaron Hill - 2B

Starters:

1. Roy Halladay - RHP
2. A.J. Burnett - RHP
3. Shaun Marcum - RHP
4. Dustin McGowan - RHP
5. Gustavo Chacin - LHP

Relievers:

B.J. Ryan - Closer
Brandon League - Setup
Scott Downs - Lefty Specialist
Jeremy Accardo
Casey Janssen
Brian Tallet
Jason Frasor
Brian Wolfe